As proclaimed by Muppet Biden on Friday, today is both Columbus Day and Indigenous Peoples' Day. Here is a rundown on the dueling proclamations, beginning with Columbus:

"In 1492, Christopher Columbus sailed [the ocean blue] from the Spanish port of Palos de la Frontera on behalf of Queen Isabella I and King Ferdinand II, but his roots trace back to Genoa, Italy. The story of his journey remains a source of pride for many Italian Americans whose families also crossed the Atlantic."

The proclamation goes on to talk about the struggles of Italian Americans, because we cannot get through a sentence without mentioning immutable characteristics:

"In fact, Columbus Day was created by President Harrison in 1892 in response to the anti-Italian motivated lynching of 11 Italian Americans in New Orleans in 1891...In commemoration of Christopher Columbus’s historic voyage 530 years ago, the Congress, by joint resolution of April 30, 1934, and modified in 1968 (36 U.S.C. 107), as amended, has requested the President proclaim the second Monday of October of each year as 'Columbus Day.'”

The Indigenous Peoples' proclamation is a bit more self-gratiutous:

"I learned long ago that Tribal Nations do better when they make their own decisions.  That is why my Administration has made respect for Tribal sovereignty and meaningful consultation with Tribal Nations the cornerstone of our engagement and why I was proud to restore the White House Council on Native American Affairs.  To elevate Indigenous voices across our Government, I appointed Deb Haaland as Secretary of the Interior, the first Native American to serve as a cabinet secretary, along with more than 50 other Native Americans now in significant roles across the executive branch.

My Administration is also directly delivering for Native communities — creating jobs, providing critical services, and restoring and preserving sacred Tribal lands.  We have made the biggest investment in Indian Country in history, securing billions for pandemic recovery, infrastructural improvements, and climate change resilience, and we are working together with Tribal Nations to end the scourge of violence against Indigenous women and girls.  These efforts are a matter of dignity, justice, and good faith."

Sadly, because of today's proclamations, the government is closed while the rest of us saps keep working to pay for it all, though they did take the time to condemn Russia.

Still, we will have to wait until tomorrow to check in with KJP and see whether she will run out the clock with garden nonsense or actually answer questions. Biden is expected to be out west this week, pandering in my state of Colorado on Wednesday.

Last time he showed up, Colorado Patriots gave him a very, merry unwelcome.

This time, someone bring tomatoes. Wocka Wocka.